My Bloody Valentine

Okay, so I'll admit. I have never seen the original My Bloody Valentine. I am not sure if I was so confused by this movie because of that fact or if it is just a downright confusing movie. My Bloody Valentine starts out with a series of pictures and newspaper clippings that tell about a mine collapse and the one man who survived. Then it cuts to a hospital where this one many come out of a coma and begins to kill all the nurses. And then it cuts to the mines where a bunch of teenagers are partying on Valentine's Day and we get to see them all killed by this same crazy guy. Now, you would think that this would all be spoilers to this movie, but it's not. All of this happens within the first fifteen minutes of the film. J and I actually thought we may have accidentally skipped to the end of the movie because of all the blood and gore in this first scene, but, no, that's really how the movie starts.

Now to talk about the actual quality of the movie. I'll start my saying this: the dialogue was terrible. Maybe even beyond terrible. The script was so cliche and the presentation of the horrible script was done in an excruciating manner. However, the acting wasn't all bad. The majority of the acting was mind-numbing, but Jensen Ackles, from the TV series Supernatural, did a reasonably okay job. However, I think that even A-list, big name stars couldn't have made this dialogue worth listening too.

Despite all of this, however, the gore was absolutely beautiful. It seemed like throughout the entire film there was extreme violence then about ten minutes of cliche drama then another random scene of extreme violence. It was all slightly random but it worked in this confusing mess of a movie. The violence was brutal and gory and almost redeems this movie. Almost.

My Bloody Valentine was extremely confusing and cliche, but the violence was beautiful. I'm not entirely sure if I would recommend this movie, but I suspect that horror fans who enjoy psychological thrills might at least find the movie somewhat entertaining. I didn't particularly enjoy the movie myself, but it did make me want to see the original to see if it made any more sense than the remake.

-H