Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen's follow up to the wonderful comedy Borat was far more disappointing than I anticipated. Originally upon viewing the movie, I enjoyed it. The humor was not as sophisticated as Borat but it was still a charming film. In Bruno, Cohen plays a flamboyant Austrian fashion designer who comes to America searching for fame. Many of the scenes in the film are real and not staged, however I believe that several of the "real" scenes were probably staged. I'm not sure how Cohen would still be alive/not imprisoned for some of the things in the film.

Like in Borat, there are many scenes that are outrageously graphic and obscene, and yet, they are hilarious. However, these scenes are few and far between. Most of the movie feels like it is stretched too thin and it is very shallow. The humor is predictable and the script was probably written well, however, with Cohen's thick fake Austrian accent it is hard to understand everything he says. And like the accent, it's sometimes hard to understand the jokes: they are either too shallow to even make sense or they are too complex that they will fly over the average viewer's head. However, the film is still funny upon it's first viewing. There are several scenes that are strikingly hilarious.

But no matter what people say about the plot, humor, or writing, Sacha Baron Cohen should still be seen as a king of comedy. He is an insanely brave man who will do anything for a laugh and to entertain his audience.Bruno wasn't as good as Borat, but it's still worth the watch. It only lasts an hour and 17 minutes which is good because it would have been impossible to make it last any longer without losing the audience. If it had been any longer I would not recommend this movie, but it was the perfect length so for anybody who likes obscene and outrageous humor, take a look at Bruno.

-H

The Descent

I can only start by saying that horror movies usually don't scare me. They have made me jump, they have made me squirm, but I had never, never truly screamed during a horror movie...until I watched The Descent.

Written and directed by Neil Marshall, The Descent is a movie about death, friendship, and the will to survive. After the death of the main character, Sarah's, husband and daughter, five of her friends decide to take her on an adventure. The girls decide to go cave-diving. They plan on going to a tourist attraction like cave, but because of the adventurous spirit of one of the women, Juno, they end up going to a completely uncharted cave system. Down in the caves the girls experience pure terror. Creepy creature called Crawlers stalk the girls through the cave system forcing the them to push themselves to do things that they would not normally do.

My favorite thing about this movie had to be the building up of suspense. It starts slow, but it is truly worth the wait. The first forty minutes of the movie are all just a build up to the last half of the movie. That's not to say, however, that they weren't frightening. While there wasn't any in-your-face gore and terror, their is a suspense created that will cause viewers to be very nervous. I must admit, I am somewhat claustrophobic and seeing this group of women crawling through the tight cave systems terrified me. My palms got sweaty and my heart was racing and yet I was still waiting for the movie to get to the downright horror part. And then, without any warning, it happened. The suspense turned into complete chaos. And at that moment, I screamed. I have never reacted like that to any horror movie I've ever seen, but something about the white, corpse-like face of the Crawler looming over the woman's shoulder completely horrified me. And after that moment the movie became absolutely terrifying. Crawlers jumped around the screen, women were screaming, the camera was moving and it was just the most disturbing scene I have ever seen.

However, the disturbing images, blood, and gore are not the only things that made the movie outstanding. The underlying themes of overcoming death and heartache, of trusting friends and the bonds of friendship being destroyed, and of doing whatever you can to survive cause the film to have a much deeper meaning than most horror films of this time period.

If I had to rate this movie out of ten, I believe I would give it a 9. The Descent is one of the most incredible horror films I have ever seen. It is truly terrifying and after seeing this film you can count on one thing: you will never, ever want to go cave-diving.

-H

Crank: High Voltage

I knew what to expect when I started Crank: High Voltage, absolutely anything. Crank, and its sequel are totally crazy and unpredictable, so I was expecting to see some insane things happen in Crank: High Voltage, and I was not disappointed. The movie is delightfully inappropriate and foul-mouthed with a completely idiotic, yet strangely believable story.

Chev Chelios is having another bad day. After being poisoned and falling a mile from a helicopter in the first movie, Chev is kidnapped by mysterious men who have a strange desire for Chev’s heart. They take out his heart and replace it with an electronic one which Chev must keep electrified constantly in order to stay alive so that he can hunt down his own heart. The thing I liked the most about the first Crank film was how much fun it all was. The action moved at a breakneck pace, never slowing down for an instant. It was completely brainless entertainment, but it was all good fun. The sequel attempts to retain the pacing and the fun of the first movie, and almost succeeds. The movie slows down too much at some points, but the pacing is pretty good. The fun isn’t all there though. Perhaps what made the first movie so much fun was how surprising it all was. When I watched Crank, I had heard it was quick and inappropriate, but I had no idea quite how much so. I was surprised into having a roaring good time for an hour and a half. The second movie just doesn’t have that element of surprise going for it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a lot of fun to watch, but it just isn’t as much fun as the first movie.

The thing that stood out the most in this movie, and maybe the first one as well, I don’t remember as well, was the music. Mike Patton does an excellent job of choosing and writing music to complement the action. A nice touch toward the beginning of the movie, the hero, played by Jason Statham, begins whistling along with the background music as he beats up one of the thugs who kidnapped him.

Overall, the movie has excellent acting, Jason Statham is always a delight to watch, frenetic action and pacing, and another crazy sex scene, but the fun factor isn’t quite all there. If I had to give a rating to this movie, I would give it a seven out of ten. Very good, but not great.

-J

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The second Chronicles of Narnia film, directed by Andrew Adamson, isn’t quite a disaster, but it comes pretty darn close. If only this film had come in a world without Harry Potter, I think it would have been loads better. Harry Potter was the beginning of the edgy books and films for young people and everyone has been trying to copy their success ever since, with the Chronicles of Narnia films being one of them. The book, Prince Caspian, by Christian theologian C. S. Lewis, was a charming little book, like all of the series, except maybe The Last Battle (I want the series to survive just so I can see what they do with that book). There was danger, but nothing a young child couldn’t handle, and a happy ending was always assured with Lewis’ version of God, Aslan. Now, with the new edgy Harry Potter teens, the film-makers had to make a darker version of Prince Caspian than was necessary. With extra battles and lots of throat cutting and a couple beheadings, the film is an odd mixture of darkness and the light happy ending of the book.

In Prince Caspian, the Pevensie children; Peter, Susan, Edmond, and Lucy, return to Narnia to find that hundreds of years have passed and the Narnians have been nearly exterminated by the evil Talmarines who, in probably the worst decision of the movie, all look like Mexicans. The good Prince Caspian is the rightful heir to the throne of Narnia, but his throne has been seized by his evil uncle, Lord Miraz. Now the Pevensies must help Prince Caspian reclaim his throne and bring peace and prosperity back to the land of Narnia.

The problem with this movie is its contradictory mix of darkness and lightness. Some parts of the movie are all dark, like the failed invasion of the Talmarine fortress; High King Peter must retreat and leave behind half his army to be slaughtered by the Talmarine archers. Other parts of the movie are all lightness, like Lucy’s search for the god of Narnia, Aslan. If the makers had elected to go one way or the other, it would have worked much better. If they had decided to go the darkness route, they could have thrown in some moral ambiguity, you saw a hint of that anyway. Instead, the movie skips over the “wrongs” that Peter commits, instead of arguing whether they were really wrong. If the movie had gone the lighter route, they would have ended up with something more approximating the original story, without half the epic battles, but a lot more heart. The movie would have worked either way, but with choosing neither and trying to walk the line between them, the film-makers spelled the doom of this movie.

The first movie was charming, but this one veers from that to make something a little more adult than its PG rating would imply. Many have said that the Narnia franchise should have died when it lost its distributor last year; I’m more willing to give the series a second chance, but only one. Voyage of the Dawn Treader had better impress me.

-J

The Haunting

For being a horror movie made in 1963, The Haunting was a truly disturbing film. It tells about a haunted house, Hill House, that was said to have been "born evil." Everyone who had ever come in contact with the house had supposedly been killed by it's evil power. One woman passed in a carriage accident, a man died after briefly living in the house, and another woman passed away from an illness. While all of these things seem like coincidences, many people truly believed that the house was the cause of all the deaths. These beliefs inspired a young man to take a team of people into Hill House to explore the possibility of supernatural phenomenon. Upon arriving, the guests experience many strange activities and consequently are faced with the terror of an untimely death.

Obviously there is no blood or gore in this film. Like other horror films of this time, The Haunting relies more on an atmospheric terror than on visuals or the "shock factor." However, there was plenty of disturbing images that created a truly creepy and tense film. There are sequences of loud banging noises where the women are hiding in their rooms trying to stay quiet so the spirit doesn't know where they are. Julie Harris, who plays the main character Eleanor, and Claire Bloom, who played Eleanor's friend/roommate Theo, both do incredible jobs portraying true fear and terror. Their faces during many of the scenes created the mood of suspense and fear that is so essential to creating an atmospheric horror film. But not only does Harris portray fear amazingly, she also portrays insanity beautifully. Her character, Eleanor seems to slowly be going insane, however, because of Harris' acting skills it's hard to tell what is only in her mind and what is truly happening within Hill House.

The plot is also surprisingly original and interesting. Many scenes in the movie, including one where two women fall asleep holding hands and wake up holding hands, but not with each other and another where the door in the house is actually breathing, were shocking to see in a movie from that time period. The Haunting is a truly superior horror film. The script was written to keep the audience engaged and interested, the plot was shocking and original (especially for 1963) and the acting was superb! I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone who has an interest in horror films because not only is it beautifully done, but it has a surprise ending that will give today's "twist" ending a run for their money!

-H

Dragon Hunters

Lian Chu and Gwizdo are the heroes of the French CG movie, Dragon Hunters. They are small-time adventurers who are never taken seriously by any of their clients, until they are hired by a blind king to rid him of The World Gobbler, the largest dragon in history. Accompanied by the king’s niece, Zoe, the adventurers set off for the end of the world to confront the village devouring monster.

Seeing as I watched this movie dubbed into English, I can’t really criticize the voice acting in the movie. I always try my best to watch movies in their original language, as I much prefer subtitles to dubbing, but this time, the dubbed version was the only copy available to me. However, all the voice acting was adequate, with two exceptions: Rob Paulson worked well as the small Gwizdo, but Forest Whitaker was not the best choice to play the massive Lian Chu. I have nothing against Forest Whitaker, personally, I think he’s an excellent actor. Lian Chu however, is a massive guy, but the voice coming out of him is the soft spoken Whitaker, which could have been what they were going for, but just doesn’t work for me. Keep in mind though that perhaps the original actor for the role was a better fit.

The voice acting is the only complaint I have about this movie though. Overall, I loved the film. This is the first French animation film that I’ve ever seen, but I saw many differences between this movie and what you would see made in America. All of the differences were for the better. Though Dragon Hunters is a small story with a small cast of characters, the tale feels massive in scope. Not because of the story, but because of the world that the film creates feels so real. When the movie starts, you’re thrown into this brand-new fantasy world that you have never seen before, that you know nothing of its history, yet it feels real.

Everything in the movie is beautiful, especially the landscapes. I really wasn’t expecting much when I started the movie, but one of the first scenes involves a floating cabbage patch and a fight with a giant slime-squirting slug. When I saw that scene, I was blown away. Everything about the movie is creative and well thought out. The world features floating islands in the sky unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. The characters and monsters in the movie look great and are all unlike what I was expecting. In a word, this was different. From the ghost village in the sky, to the monster made up of birds, everything looks great and new.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who loves good animation and who wants to see something entirely new. I would say five stars, two thumbs up, excellent show.

-J

Terminator: Salvation

Terminator: Salvation, the fourth Terminator movie, reminds me of another summer blockbuster featuring large robots. They’re both very big, very loud, and extraordinarily dumb. The film is set in the future, after the world has been taken over by the machines of Skynet. John Connor is a soldier in the human resistance. Contrary to what a fan of the Terminator series would think, John Connor is not the lead character in the movie, instead, most of the movie focuses on Marcus Wright, a man who wakes up in this strange future after being executed many years before.

I am a huge fan of the Terminator franchise, having seen the first three movies multiple times. I even watched the good, but just not Terminator good, tv show, The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I’m even one of the few fans that really loved the third movie, Rise of the Machines. Salvation if the first time that the franchise has really disappointed me. The fault mostly lies with the choice of McG as a director and a very weak script. The casting was excellent; I thought Christian Bale would have made an incredible John Connor, especially after seeing his Batman. Anton Yelchin is a very good actor, who I wish I could see more of. His portrayal of Pavel Chekov in this year’s Star Trek was perfect. Sam Worthington was the best actor in the movie however. I had never heard of the actor before seeing this movie, but what I did see of him here was worth making mention of. Moon Blodgood and Bryce Dallas Howard are both capable actresses, but were both underused in the movie, I barely even noticed they were there.

The actors, however hard they worked, could never have overcome the half-hearted script and directing that this movie received. While this movie was being made, I had two reactions to the news I received about it. The first was joy that Christian Bale had been chosen to play the role of John Connor, the other was disappointment that McG had been chosen as its director. McG was just too lightweight a director to handle something as respected or as serious as a franchise like Terminator. Through the entire movie, I kept thinking to myself, “What’s the point?” There are all these characters running around, doing what seems to be very important things, yet all of it comes across as rather pointless. The terminators themselves seem harmless in this movie. At one point, John Connor sneaks into the terminator headquarters and hides behind a corner as a “deadly” terminator walks past, pauses, looks around, and moves on. Is this the new terminators? Comic jerk-off guards of a useless base? Where’s the sense of dread that the sight of a terminator used to put in our hearts? Where’s the fear gone? It’s gone along with the respect the franchise used to receive. The only sense I got that the terminators were any kind of threat was when Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up, but that was quickly replaced by disgust again when he left and was replaced by a useless machine that appeared about as dangerous as a roomba. Hide the kids, the world has been taken over by roombas.

-J