Monday, February 28, 2011

And the Winner Is...

Well, as most of you already know last night was the 83rd Annual Academy Awards! 2010 was an amazing year for movies and many of these great movies were honored with the ultimate award in film: an Oscar. That being said, however, last night's Oscars were not very interesting. There were no upsets or surprise winners. Everything was pretty much straight forward. Hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco were bland and uninteresting and the nights funny moments came from an autotune version of Harry Potter and Twilight and a shout out to "Marky Mark" from James Franco's grandma. However, unlike many years, the show seem to progress at a nice speed which kept many viewers watching despite the failed attempts at humor. But the point of the Oscars is not to be funny. But to honor the best of the best in movies for this past year. So, here are a list of winners and my thoughts on the bigger awards.

Best Picture: The King's Speech
My thoughts: The King's Speech is a heart-warming and inspiring story of the Duke of York overcoming his terrible stutter to become King. The movie greatly deserved to win the honor of Best Picture. However, it was not my personal favorite of the year.

Best Director: Tom Hooper for The King's Speech
My thoughts: Well, this proved to be the night's only upset. Many, including myself, thought this award would go to David Fincher for the amazing movie The Social Network. However, Tom Hooper deserved this award just as much if not more than Fincher so no complaints from me.

Best Actor: Colin Firth for The King's Speech
My thoughts: No complaints here either. Personally, I loved Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network and I wanted him to get recognized for that role. However, Firth acted his heart out in The King's Speech and he deserved this award just as much as Eisenberg.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman for Black Swan
My thoughts: I know a lot of people did not exactly love her performance as the crazed ballerina Nina in Black Swan but I loved it. I love Natalie Portman and I loved Black Swan and I am just so thrilled that it received some recognition.

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale for The Fighter
My thoughts: I haven't seen The Fighter so I am neither happy nor unhappy about this particular victory. However, I do plan to watch the movie eventually and will get back to you when I know what I'm talking about.

Best Supporting Actress: Melissa Leo for The Fighter
My thoughts: As I've said before, I have not seen The Fighter yet. However, Melissa Leo's speech did prove to be one of the most interesting moments of the night when she dropped the F-bomb half way through her speech. Presenters and even her costars poked fun at her for the rest of the night and it will go down in Oscar history because it was the first time the F-word has ever been said onstage at the Oscars.

Best Animated Film: Toy Story 3

Best Documentary: Inside Job

Best Foreign Language Film: In a Better World from Denmark

Best Visual Effects: Inception

Best Original Screenplay: The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Social Network

Best Music: The Social Network

Best Original Song: We Belong Together from Toy Story 3

Best Costume: Alice in Wonderland

Best Make-up: The Wolfman

Well, there are the big winners. There are more categories for more technical awards and those winner can be found on oscars.go.com/nominations. Hope you enjoyed watching the Oscars last night and let me know your thoughts about all the winners.

-H

PS- Just want to let you all know that this is our 100th post! :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Oscars!

Well, it's Oscars time again and I'm very excited to see how things play out. Here is a list of all nominees for the big awards and my predictions on who will be taking home that little golden statue.





Best Picture

The Social Network
Toy Story 3
Inception
True Grit
Winter's Bone
Black Swan
127 Hours
The Fighter
The Kids are All Right
The King's Speech

My prediction: I've seen all of these except for The Fighter and 127 Hours (and I plan on watching both of those before the award show) but I predict that The Social Network will win this one and I think it deserves to win.

Best Director

Darren Aranofsky-Black Swan
David O. Russel- The Fighter
Tom Hooper-The King's Speech
David Fincher- The Social Network
The Coen Brothers-True Grit

My prediction: I may be a little bias about this (because he is my favorite director) but I REALLY want Darren Aranofsky to win. However, I predict that David Fincher will win this one.

Best Actress

Natalie Portman-Black Swan
Annette Benning-The Kids are All Right
Nicole Kidman-Rabbit Hole
Jennifer Lawrence-Winter's Bone
Michelle Williams-Blue Valentine

My prediction: Again, this may be because of my own personal bias, but I really want Natalie Portman to win and I predict that she will win this one just like she's won best actress at every other award show so far.

Best Actor

Javier Bardem-Biutiful
Jeff Bridges-True Grit
Jesse Eisenberg-The Social Network
Colin Firth-The King's Speech
James Franco-127 Hours

My prediction: Colin Firth-hands down

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams-The Fighter
Melissa Leo-The Fighter
Hailee Steinfeld- True Grit
Helena Bonham Carter- The King's Speech
Jacki Weaver-Animal Kingdom

My prediction: I think Melissa Leo will win. I haven't seen The Fighter so I don't really know how good she is but I'm choosing her because she's won for best supporting actress at most of the other awards ceremonies.

Best Supporting Actor

Christian Bale-The Fighter
John Hawkes-Winter's Bone
Jeremy Renner-The Town
Mark Ruffalo-The Kids are All Right
Geoffrey Rush-The King's Speech

My Prediction: Just like with the best supporting actress, I haven't seen The Fighter but I still think Christian Bale will win this category.

Best Animated Feature

The Illusionist
How to Train Your Dragon
Toy Story 3

My prediction: Toy Story 3

Best Original Screenplay

Another Year
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King's Specch

My prediction: The King's Speech

Best Adapted Screenplay

127 Hours
The Social Network
True Grit
Toy Story 3
Winter's Bone

My prediction: The Social Network

There are many other categories that highlight specials aspects of many deserving movies. If you are interested in learning more about the Oscar nominees for 2011, check out the official Oscars website or go to imdb.com and search for the nominees. Make sure to tune in on February 27, 2011 at 8 pm on abc to see who the winners are!

-H



Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Monsters


In Monsters, half of Mexico has been taken over by alien creatures. This area is called the infected zone. In the film, Andrew and Samantha find themselves trapped in Mexico at the start of “the season”, when the creatures are the most active. Unable to find passage by ferry around the zone, they must travel through on foot in order to return to America. Now this may sound like a typical science fiction thriller, but it's not. The film was made for a remarkably small budget, with only two professional actors and no special equipment. That being said, Monsters is a remarkable film.

In this day of multi-million dollar blockbusters with hundreds of members of crew, it is usually bad form to refer to one person as being the author(or auteur) of a film. However with Monsters, it is safe to credit its success to one man, Gareth Edwards. Edwards wrote and directed the film, as well as acted as the director of cinematography, the production designer and the sole member of its visual effects crew. This is his film from start to finish, and as this is his first major film, he deserves to be applauded.

The two actors in the film, Whitney Able and Scoot McNairy, also deserve some credit. They both turn in excellent, understated performances that are perfect for this film. The feel and look of the film are wonderfully created. This is not a grand spectacle alien flick, there is real human drama at the heart of the movie, the aliens feel almost secondary. The focus is on the characters and their interactions with each other. When the creatures do come in though, the tension is excellently created and held and in this area I think the low budget worked to the film's advantage. Not seeing the creatures for most of the film gives a nice tense feeling to it.

If this film has a failing, it would be in the writing. Occasionally some of the lines would come out just a little stilted and unbelievable, but I don't think it's a major enough issue to keep someone from seeing this movie. It's a different take on the alien genre that I think would appeal even to those who don't normally watch science fiction films.

-J

Best Movies of 2010

Here are my top ten favorite movies of 2010. I only picked from the movies that I have seen so if your favorite movie from last year isn't on here let me know in the comments and if I haven't seen it I'll try to watch it.

10. Shutter Island

Director: Martin Scorcese
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio

"You'll never leave this island."











9. How to Train Your Dragon

Director: Dean DeBlois, Chris Sanders
Stars: Jay Baruchel, Gerard Butler

" This is Berk. It snows nine months out of the year, and hails the other three. What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies, or parrots... we have dragons."




8. The Kids are All Right

Director: Lisa Cholodenko
Stars: Annette Bening, Julianne Moore

"Sometimes, you know, you're together for so long, that you just... You stop seeing the other person."









7. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Director: Edgar Wright
Stars: Michael Cera

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass."









6. Kick Ass

Director: Matthew Vaughn
Stars: Aaron Johnson, Nicholas Cage, Chloe Mortez

"Like most people my age, I just existed."










5. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part One

Director: David Yates
Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson

"If we are the ones to hand Potter to the Dark Lord, everything will be as it was, you understand?"







4. Inception

Director: Christopher Nolan
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page

"The seed that we planted in this man's mind may change everything."









3. Toy Story 3

Director: Lee Unkrich
Stars: Tim Allen, Tom Hanks

"Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries!"






2. True Grit

Director: The Coen Brothers
Stars: Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Hailee Steinfeld

"You must pay for everything in this world, one way and another. There is nothing free except the grace of God."







1. Black Swan

Director: Darren Aronofsky
Stars: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis

"I had the craziest dream last night about a girl who has turned into a swan, but her prince falls for the wrong girl and she kills herself."








-H

Hot Tub Time Machine


Every year hundreds of commedies come out all across the world. Most suck. Usually, the acting sucks, the story sucks, and the humor sucks. However, every once in awhile the rare comedy comes along that is actually funny. Hot Tub Time Machine is the funny comedy of 2010. Starring John Cusack as the unhappy, divorced middle aged man who longs to recapture his youth, Hot Tub Time Machine tells the story of four men who take a vacation to an abandoned old town that used to be the hot place for teenagers to hang out. Once there the enter a hot tub that transports that back to the eighties. Not only is the story unique and fun, but it's actually funny. Seeing three older men relive the 80's and one young man experience the eighties for the first time is just hilarious. And on top of that, the pop cultural references abound and are genius. The movie showcases the bright, mismatched fashion of the time as well as the slang and obsessions of teens of the time.
The acting is also incredibly funny. Craig Robinson is hilarious in his role as the whipped middle-aged man who takes his wifes last name and Clark Duke holds the movie together with his role as the tech-savvy nerd who needs to get out and get a life.
The reason I think I liked this movie so much was because it's main purposes was to be fun. It was not serious and even the drama was fun to watch. Hot Tub Time Machine may not be appropriate for the whole family because of the language and sexual content, but it is still a very entertaining and funny movie.

-H

Monday, January 10, 2011

Hellboy


I'm a very big fan of comic book/superhero movies and I'm also a huge fan of Guillermo Del Toro so I thought that I would be a huge fan of this movie. However, I must admit that I was a little disappointed.
Hellboy is a superhero movie about a demon that is summoned by a group of Nazis. The demon is just a little baby and is adopted by a paranormal advisor to the American government. As Hellboy ages he begins to fight crime, particularly crimes involving other demons and paranormal entities. The action begins when the same group of Nazis come to America to finish what they started so many years earlier. Like many superhero movies, the action and special effects are top notch but the story is a bit scattered.
To me, it felt that Guillermo del Toro had too much that he wanted to show in too little time. The movie was packed with a bunch of action sequences that did not all mesh together. I also found that I was having trouble following the storyline. Usually I don't like when a movie spells out exactly what is going on, but Hellboy didn't explain anything that was happening. I felt quite confused during several sequences, not about what was happening, but about why it was happening. I also found it difficult to keep track of all of the characters.
However, I must commend del Toro for making such a fun and action-packed movie. Many superhero films take themselves far too seriously and go for the dark, brooding characters and feel. Hellboy, however, keeps the atmosphere light and fun by adding comic relief, like a talking skeleton, to keep audiences entertained.
While I was not completely impressed with this film, I do plan on giving Hellboy 2: The Golden Army a chance. Hellboy, while a bit confusing at times, is a fun, entertaining, action-packed film that the whole family can enjoy.

-H

Cowards Bend the Knee


Let me start this entry with a question: How many readers have ever seen a silent movie? What about a silent movie made in 2003? If you answered no to one or both of those questions then you may have trouble watching Guy Madden's silent film Cowards Bend the Knee. Reminiscent of David Lynch's film Eraserhead, Cowards Bend the Knee is a black and white film made in modern times. However, unlike Eraserhead the only sound in the film comes from an orchestral score and a few sound effects that occur few and far between. However, no meaning is lost from the absence of sound. The film is a powerful and somewhat terrifying film that highlights the sexual deviances of the main character as well as his love affair with a young woman who wants to avenge her father's death. While it is hard to critique the acting, mainly because of the lack of dialogue and the confusing nature of the filming, all actors seemed to immerse themselves in their roles. The young actresses especially portrayed their characters beautifully and with intensity and passion. However, the most commendable aspect of this film was by far the cinematography. Filming in black and white is always more difficult than filming in color because the cinematographer must painstakingly visualize what each scene will look like when seen by audiences in black and white. Making a silent film also adds difficulty to the project because the cinematographer and director must coach the actors and actresses on how to show what is happening in the film without relying on dialogue (which is a difficult task for many modern actors. Guy Maddin, the director and cinematographer, showed true dedication to the medium by filming a black and white and silent film in the modern, special-effects crazed film industry. However, taking a risk paid off in a major way. While the movie may not be a blockbuster hit it is well-received by many film critics and currently has a 95% on the film review site Rotten Tomatoes.
While Cowards Bend the Knee is an interesting experience, I would not recommend it to most people. It is not for the faint of heart and most people will find it hard to watch a modern silent film. It takes a special kind of person to enjoy such a surreal movie and the average movie viewer will most likely find themselves revolted, horrified, and very confused.

-H

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1


Can you say amazing? The seventh installment in the Harry Potter series may just be the best yet. Although the characters are all grown up and facing not only the evil Voldermort but also their feelings for each other, the movie works and feels like a more grown up version of the original Potter movies.
Daniel Radcliffe's portrayal of Harry Potter is at its best in the new film. He and Emma Watson have so much on screen chemistry (even though the two aren't supposed to have any chemistry) it's crazy. The play off of each other's emotions and their characters seem to be more in love with each other than they should be if they are truly only friends. Rupert Grint's portrayal of the emotional Ron also works well in the new film and shows Ron's angst at Harry and Hermione's steamy relationship. The actors finally allow for their characters to grow and develop into well-rounded adults.
The cinematography also surpasses that of the other films. David Yate's take on the seventh Harry Potter works completely. The film is darker than it's predecessor's but with good reason. The seventh book is much darker than the earlier books and the problems faced by the characters are darker and worse than ever before. However, I do feel that the film may have been too dark for children. But this doesn't concern me much considering it was not made to be a children's film. With a solid PG-13 rating if parents decide to take there kids to see this movie than they will just have to deal with the subsequent nightmares. Because there will be nightmares. From a scene where a woman's decaying body crumbles into a snake and viciously attacks Harry to an animated sequence where Death stalks three brothers and causes one to hang himself because of a broken heart, the movie is much more adult than the earlier films.
Deathly Hallows may not have been the best Potter book, but it was by far the best Potter movie. The adult themes, character development, and dark imagery all create a beautiful interpretation of Rowling's novel. Also, for those die hard Potter fans, the movie stays pretty close to the book with no noticeable changes.
Hope you all go see the movie and enjoy it!

-H

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mr. Bean's Holiday


Mr. Bean was a character created many years ago for a British television show. Played by Rowan Atkinson, Bean is a quiet, simple man who only speak in monosyllables. The original show was very funny, with well written skits. As much of the show was done without any dialog, it relied on sight gags and physical comedy. Some years afterward, a film, simply titled Bean was released that had some funny material, but still did not reach the heights that the television show reached. When Mr. Bean's Holiday was released, I hoped for a return to the simplicity and humor of the original material, but I was sadly disappointed.

Rowan Atkinson does his usual best effort. The actor excels at this type of comedy, relying on funny faces and humorous noises, but his stretchy face does him little good here. The material is dry and boring. The only good thing about this film is its mercifully short length of 86 minutes. Willem Dafoe shows up as a high art film director, making fun of the type of films that are shown at the Cannes Film Festival. I will acknowledge that those art films are the total opposite of what this is. Mr. Bean's Holiday is a shallow movie with no substance whatsoever. The fictional film that Willem Dafoe shows at the festival looks infinitely more interesting than the real film that we are watching. With all the excellent films Dafoe has acted in, I can almost see him asking himself which of his agents he should fire for signing him up for this movie. Rowan Atkinson shows no shame for showing up here. I think it is time for him to move on to something a little better.


-J

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Natural Born Killers

Voted as one of the 25 most dangerous films of all times, Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers is one of the coolest, scariest, wildest movies I've ever seen. On face value, the movie is about two mass murderers, Mickey and Mallory, who are in love with each other and with killing. The movie shows their journey together. It shows how the meet, how they live, and then it shows a bit of their time spent in prison. But the movie isn't really about Mickey and Mallory. It isn't even really about murder. It's, almost too clearly, about violence in the media. We see the press coverage of Mickey and Mallory's killing, we see the fans they gain (a la Bonnie and Clyde), and we always see snippets of news reports covering the trial of a murderer, a murder at a wedding, and a forest fire ravaging a village. Oliver Stone weaved this tale of two murderous lovers to show how the media exploits the hardships of others for ratings.
The story of Natural Born Killers is just amazing. It's violent and gory and over-the-top and awesome. But the story is just the base of this movie. The story really isn't what's important. It's the characters. Mickey, played by Woody Harrelson, was just plain charming. Yes he's a murderer. Yes he's crazy. But you just can help but love him. And the more you listen to what he says, the more you understand his crazy. The more you feel for him and for his lover, Mallory, who is played by Juliette Lewis. You'll even find yourself rooting for Mallory when she lights her mother's bed on fire because of the life-long abuse she has faced from her father and mother. Both actors have a special ability. An ability to pull people into their characters, no matter how evil the character is. But, they weren't the only good actors in the movie. Tommy Lee Jones provides an astoundingly over-the-top performance as the manager of the prison housing Mickey and Mallory and Robert Downey Jr. delivers as a TV personality trying to get the best ratings by interviewing the notorious and well-loved Mickey.
Natural Born Killers best quality, however, was the editing. It was just astounding. There were nearly 7000 cuts throughout the film and everything blended together. There were different types of shots, some in black and white, some in color. And each shot, each cut, each color, meant something. The black and white meant that we were watching inside the head of the characters while color meant that everything was happening exactly as it happened with nothing changed or manipulated. And each cut showed a different demon, or dark side, that lived inside of Mickey. Every shot meant something.
Natural Born Killers is not a movie for everyone. There is very, very graphic violence that may disturb some people. There is a lot of blood and a lot of gore and the subject matter is deeply frightening. However, for people who don't mind a little, well a lot, of blood, Natural Born Killers is a must see commentary on the media.

-H

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Toy Story 3

You know how people have a thing against sequels? People just think that if a movie's a sequel it's automatically going to be terrible. And in many cases, they're right. But Toy Story 3 is a major exception. Not only was Toy Story 3 a good sequel, I feel that it may possible be better than the first two. It is, for sure, the best movie of the year so far and will be popular with audiences for many years to come.
The plot of Toy Story 3 is absolutely heart-wrenching. Andy is all grown-up now and is preparing to go to college. We see the process of Andy growing up: of iPods and laptops replacing dolls and blocks, and of beloved toys ending up in the bottom of toy chests or in the attic. Once the montage of Andy's growing up is finished, Andy is forced to decide what to do with all of his old toys: college, attic, or trash. After some animated mishaps the toys all believe Andy means to through them away and somehow end up being donated to the Sunnyside daycare, where a seemingly kind old bear takes them under his big furry arms and shows them the joys...and horrors...of daycare life. The plot seems simple enough, almost too close to the plot of the second film, but something made this movie stand out. Something made this movie heart-breakingly amazing!
Since this is an animated movie I can't comment on the actual acting, however, the voice acting was incredible as was the actual artistry of the animation. Sticky to the roots of the first two movie, Tom Hanks does the voice of Woody and Tim Allen portrays Buzz. The two interact with each other, verbally, like old pals and the animation of the facial expressions is so realistic it's almost eerie. You forget, even though the animation isn't as "real" looking as some animation of late, that you're not looking at real toys, real living toys, interacting and talking to each other. All of the toys look so real, and adorable! Even the ones that are a little bit, on the, well, *SPOILER*, evil side.
Toy Story 3 will make you cry. You will cry for Woody who misses Andy and longs to get back to him, you will cry for Andy who must part with his childhood friends, you will cry because you know this is the end. The amazing story of toys that come to life when their owner isn't around is over. Pixar shoots straight to the heart with this movie. They know how to make you fall in love with the characters and then how to break your heart. However, as with any, G-rated Pixar film, there is always a silver-lining. While it may not be the happiest of endings, the ending of Toy Story 3 will make you smile and maybe even cry because of how tender the final moments are.
Toy Story3 is a family friendly movie that children of any age will enjoy. But this movie wasn't made for the children. It was made for those who were children in 1995, when the first Toy Story came out. This movie is finishing a story that was started many years ago and anyone who loves the first two movies will love Toy Story 3.

-H

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

If People In Horror Movies Only Knew

Okay, so everyone knows that horror movies are, well, kind-of, sort-of, stupid. And sometimes it's not the movie itself that is so stupid, but the characters in the movie. According to Scream, there are certain rules that you must follow in order to survive a horror movie. Personally, I love horror movies and I think that I would probably survive though the movie, or at least be one of the last people to die. Because of my love of horror movies, I've compiled a list of rules, along with some of the rules in Scream, that will help you survive a horror movie.

The first, and most basic rule, is simple: Always be aware of your surroundings. This can mean many, many things. First off this means stay sober. Don't drink or do drugs because both can seriously hinder your senses. When you're under the influence of any substance your mind cannot function properly and it will not register that you are in any danger, even when the mask killer is stalking you around the house. Secondly, this means always watch where you're going. When you're being chased by the killer, ruin around the big ditches and roots and branches. It will seriously hurt your chances of surviving if you can't stand up long enough to run away. Lastly, this rule means exactly what it says, be aware of where you are. If you're going into a big, scary, empty house check the closets before settling down with your headphones in your ears with the music so loud you can't hear the pounding footsteps of the killer coming up to slash your throat from behind. If you're about to get into a car check the back seat for knife-wielding maniacs. Also be aware of all possible hiding places, just in case you cannot run from the masked killer.

Rule number two is this: Do not have sex. There are several reasons for this rule. The first reason relates loosely to rule number one. While having sex, you cannot be completely aware of your surroundings. The second reason to not have sex in a horror movie is a little less complicated: the killer doesn't like people having sex. Most masked maniacs kill because of some deep-seeded sexual fears or repression so they absolutely hate to see anyone else having sex. Sex basically equals death in horror movies.

Rule number three: Always run. For some reason, people in horror movies always think their best bet is to hide. Whether it be in a closet, under a bed, or in an attic, people think it's a good idea to lay around and wait to be brutally hacked up. However, pretty much anybody, even if they aren't the fastest runner will have better chances of living by trying to out run their killer rather than hiding from them. It seems like people think these killers are deaf and blind. If the killer sees you go into a room and follows you in, your best bet would be to climb out the window or run out another door. Because if you just hide in the room, the killer will a) know you're in their, b) will hear you breathing, and c) eventually be able to find you and murder you because there are only so many places in one room that you can hide. However, if you're going to run make sure you follow rule number one and watch where you're going.

Rule number four: Never run up the stairs. Just don't do it. It's like running in to a death trap. I don't care if the killer is blocking the foot of the stairs. Run at him, full-speed, kick him in the crotch and get out that front door. Either way you look at it, going upstairs will probably get you killed. Once you're up the stairs there are only two ways that it could turn out. One, you get up the stairs, undoubtedly try to hide, and are corned and killed. Two, you get up the stairs and then try to jump out the window. This may seem like a good idea at the time, but in reality, the jump itself may kill you, and if it doesn't it might just injure you enough that you can no longer run from the masked killer. There is a third way running upstairs could end up, but it's very unlikely. If you do have to run up the stairs, and I mean there is no possible way around it, hide in a place that is close to the stairs and easy to get out of, then run down the stairs after the killer has come up and go straight out the door. Never stay upstairs for a long period of time because it will kill you.

Rule number five: Hold on to your tools. Everyone in horror movies have some sort of tools to work with. Whether it be a weapon like a gun or knife or something else helpful like a cell phone, everyone has something that might help save their lives. For some reason, people in horror movies think that if a cell phone has no signal it's completely useless or if a gun runs out of bullets they should just throw it to the ground. Hold on to everything that you can that doesn't slow you down. Cell phones can lose signal in one place and pick it up again a few feet away. And guns can be used as a weapon even after you've run out of bullets so don't throw it down.

Rule number six: Double tap. Heck, triple tap. Tap as much as you possibly can. Just because he looks dead doesn't mean he actually is. So don't let his playing dead fool you. It takes a lot to kill a psychotic killer. And since most horror movies have supernatural killers, it might take so much that you might not actually be able to kill him, just wound him enough for you to get away. But never shoot the killer once and assume he's dead. Shoot him ten times and assume he's still alive.

The final rule for surviving a horror movie is less a rule and more a way of life. First off, be a girl. Guys, I know you have no control over that, but you can at least act a little more feminine or something. But, honestly, it is very unlikely that a man, other than the killer, will make it through a horror movie. Secondly, be a boyish girl. Killers don't like girly girls. And it's easier to kill someone who's trying to run in heels and who doesn't know how to use a gun than a tomboy in tennis shoes. Third, be questioning. Be suspicious of everyone and everything, because it's not safe to trust anyone, not even your friends. These three qualities are the marking quality of the final girl. The one that survives and either kills the killer or injures him enough to get away. The final girl is like a boy. She's smart, she savvy, and she knows how to work tools and weapons and cars. And she almost always lives.

So, there you go. If you ever find yourself in a horror flick, follow these rules and, if you're female, you might just live. And, even if you are male, you may still have a chance as long as you follow the horror movie rules to the word. And don't try to be a hero. And most importantly, always double tap.

-H

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Worst Movies I've Ever Seen













Every where you look you can find a list of the best movies ever made or the most critically acclaimed movies. So, I thought maybe it would be fun to do something that's a little different. So, I've decided to make a list of the five worst movies that I have ever seen. Some of the movies that I dislike the most are movies that I actually turned off before they ended. However, I will limit myself to movies that I actually finished watching. So here's a list (in no particular order) of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Candyman (1992)
Candyman is a horror movie about a supernatural force that kills people who go into a dark room and say "Candyman" five times. The movie, which could have been interesting
if it had been done well, was boring and, frankly, stupid. The visuals weren't scary enough and the acting wasn't good enough for this to even be considered a funny B-grade horror movie. It just wasn't any good. The movie was written by Clive Barker which gave me high hopes that this movie would be a good scare. However, about thirty minutes in I realized that it was actually a major let down.


Norbit (2007)

Eddie Murphy used to be a funny guy. He truly did. But, his funniness has slowly gone away over the last few years. His movies, particularly his kids movies, just keep getting worse and worse. However, Norbit is probably the worst Eddie Murphy movie ever made. I can't believe I actually watched this whole movie. The movie is about a skinny guy, played by Eddie Murphy, who is engaged to a HUGE woman, also played by Eddie Murphy, who meets a pretty woman who he wants to leave the other Eddie Murphy for. Now, just re-read that a few times and you'll understand how terribly unfunny this movie was. I didn't smile or laugh at all, the entire time. It would have been more entertaining to sit and stare at a blank TV screen. This movie was probably the biggest waste of time ever.

The Forgotten (2004)

The Forgotten is a science fiction/thriller/horror movie that was completely ridiculous. The Forgotten is about people who are told that their children never existed. They then begin to remember that they did, in fact, have children in the past. Then the movie turns into some sort of weird government conspiracy and alien thing. It just didn't make any sense. Part of me thinks it was meant to be scary, while the other part of me thinks, maybe, just maybe, it was meant to be a comedy because it is so stupid it's actually a little funny. But not funny enough to make it worth watching. This movie is NOT worth watching.

Date Movie (2006)

Date Movie was such a waste of time that even writing this review of it is a waste of my time. So, I'm not going to write a review of it. All I'll say is that it's stupid and pointless and should never be watched by any one because by watching this movie people are supporting the people who make these dumb movies and these people should not be supported.

Well, there are the four worst movies I've ever seen. My recommendation is that you don't even waste your time with these movies because they are not worth it! If you're in need of some movies to watch scroll through the blog and find some movies that are actually good!

-H

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Get Him to the Greek

Get Him to the Greek is a hilarious comedy that is a spin-off of the even more hilarious Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Get Him to the Greek, which has already been compared to last summer's hit The Hangover, stars Russel Brand as an out of control and over the top rock star who has lost his way. Jonah Hill plays Aaron Green, a young men working int he music industry. Aaron comes up with an idea to help out his company by getting Brand's character, Aldous Snow, to play a ten year anniversary concert at The Greek. The movie goes on to depict Aaron's and Aldous' journey from London to L.A.
Get Him to the Greek is not your everyday raunchy, sex comedy. While it has many gross-out and sex related jokes, it also has some truly hilarious situations. The humor and jokes are unique, as are the characters. Aldous Snow may be the funniest character I have ever seen in a movie. He is a washed-up, burnt-out, slightly psychotic rock star who knows how to have fun. And watching a friendship between Snow and the uptight Green, who is so whipped by his girlfriend that he would even, willingly, watch 100 hours of Gossip Girl, grow is just fun and hilarious. The two have a chemistry on screen that is hard to find between two grown male actors and it is so cool to just watch them interact. The two are great on screen together but they both are equally as great on their own. Jonah Hill is just a sweet, funny teddy bear. He seems completely harmless. Russel Brand is a wild mess and I just can't help but love both of them. The film is also peppered with a variety of other celebrities. P!nk, Tom Felton, Meredith Vieira, Christina Aguilera, Mario Lopez, and Rick Shroder all make appearances throughout the film. The one celebrity who really stole the show, however, was P. Diddy who plays Aaron's crazy boss Sergio. Every scene P. Diddy was in was laugh out loud funny. There was one scene, involving something called a Jeffrey and a bunch of furry walls, actually had me laughing so hard I felt sick. However, for every absolutely hilarious scene, there was a scene that just didn't flow with the movie. Some things just felt so out of place or they just didn't seem to fit. But these scenes did not damage the film's humor.
Be warned, however, this movie isn't just all laughs. It actually has a little bit of a message. So if you're going to this movie purely for laughs you might be a little disappointed. But if you can look past these few moments, then this movie is mostly laugh out loud funny for the entire 109 minutes. However, don't go into this film expecting it to be just like Forgetting Sarah Marshall because it is an entirely different type of comedy.

-H

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sorry!

Hey everybody. Sorry it's been so long since we last posted. J and I have both been so busy with school and exams and papers and everything! I know it's been awhile since we posted and we've seen SO many good movies! (And just so everybody knows, Kick-Ass is an AMAZING movie) So, I'm really sorry we haven't been writing, but just wait a little bit longer. J and I both will be out of school for the summer very soon and I promise we'll both start writing again. Thanks for your support and for continuing to look through our blog! :)

-H